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JACK*ASS TOUR 2005

Three retards, 1500 miles, credit cards, and the ability to mock people in the open.

 

 

First off, this screams of GEEkville before we ever even leave NJ.  For years we have heard about the great DAYTON hamvention.  It is basically a shining light bulb for every retard moth with a ham license.  “The Mecca of ham fests”.  “It will take you days to see everything, there is so much stuff”.  We just had to check it out.

 

 

The trip didn’t seem it would be that bad.  It was 590 miles one way.  So we headed out early in the AM for a full days drive.  The RV is a great way to travel, just don’t be in to much of a hurry.  We may have been able to get a little more out of her, however Chris decided he needed to bring all of his socks and shoes, plus three laptops.  Oh yeah about 25 pounds of Chex mix, more on that later.  I need to buy stock in that company.

 

 

 

 

The drive out was pretty uneventful.  The only real issue was, Pennsylvania along Route 80 sucks!!!!  At least put up a billboard to keep me entertained.  I95 in the Carolinas is awful too, but at least I have Pedro billboards to keep me laughing.

Thank God for my SIRIUS radio.

 

HAMVENTION 2005   --   I will let the pictures speak for themselves.

 

 

Yes these people are real.

Towerhead??

Typical vendor-probably has been bringing the same stuff to the event for the past 30 years.

 

 

 

Backpack nerds??

 

Is that sack filled with piss or beer, HHHMMMM?

 

Icom had girls walking around in bathrobes and pajamas as advertising.  Not a bad idea, but at least make them older then 15 next time.  Actually it was a little creepy. 

The US tower girls where not much better.

We tried to get Kevin a date.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Had all you can take.  Us too, we loaded up in the RV and headed East.  We had planned on staying out there for the weekend, but we walked around and pretty much saw everything we needed to see in about 6 hrs.  Now I will say we didn’t go through every box, looking at junk, our loss, who knows.  It was off to PA-destinations unknown.

 

 

 

The best part about Dayton Ohio, is leaving.  With Dayton in our rearview mirror, we are off to PA.  I had wanted to visit the Allegheny Forest for some time.  We spent the night at a very nice RV park.  It was in the middle of no where, but the shower house was clean and we recharged the RV batteries.

 

The next morning, it was off to see Allegheny Forest.

 

 

 

Now during the trip we would stop off here and there, get gas, junk food and such.  I did the driving, not that I didn’t trust anyone else, it’s just that driving the RV is like driving a billboard down the road.  Every truck that passes you, you feel.  So Kevin and Chris would take turns sitting up front in the passenger seat.  Most of the time Chris sat in the back, playing on the computer, listening to his MP3 player and eating Chex Mix.  He ate a lot of Chex Mix, I think he ate most of the 25 pound bag himself.  Chris is starting to turn into a goat.

 

 

 

 

 

Time for lunch in Allegany Forest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So if you are ever wondering around aimlessly in northern PA, you might come across Bradford PA.

Trust me, it was neat, but don’t make it your main event for site seeing.  There was a family there, for the length of time we where.  It was the big day out to buy the coming of age son the family lighter.  If I remember correctly, they could not decide and where going to come back the next day.

 

Only in Pennsylvania.  This is why we won’t let Chris get a bus.  This was on one of the back roads heading out of Allegany Forest.

 

 

After the Zippo sidetrack, we headed southeast back towards Route 80.  But we where coming into a critical problem.  Chris needed beer.  Now, for anyone that doesn’t now this, you can’t buy beer in PA, unless you buy it from a distributor.  And then only by the case.  I don’t drink beer, and Kevin is under age.  As we walked around dumbfounded, we did try to get Chris his fix.  I asked a girl at the local gas station if there was a place to buy a six-pack.  You think I had asked her to explain the theory of relativity.  She just stared at me.  Ok, we headed out.  I started to feel like other great explorers in search of beer.  This could not be, I didn’t believe it.

 

 

 

Chris at this point has a melt down.  He rolls down the window in the RV and starts yelling at passing cars, citizens walking down the street, about how stupid their state is.  He just wants a six pack.  He has eaten 20 pounds of Chex mix and needs a beer or 2.  Not a case.

 

 

(I will not list the town we where in, just in case of any pending complaints).

 

 

 

 

The evening comes to an end, with us camping off of Route 80 at an RV park.  We have a camp fire, and enjoy a light rain while we smoke a few cigars.  Wanting to get an early start in the AM, and avoid the animal sacrifice at the little outside chapel in the AM, we go to bed.  Now, let me tell you that most campgrounds have pretty level spots.  The one we where assigned, was not to bad, but I still leveled the unit off the best I could.  The RV is also small, only 21 feet long.  So I slept in the upper bed, Chris slept in the rear bed, and Kevin slept on a cot in the hall between the rear and side door. 

 

At some point in the middle of the night, Chris felt the need to vomit.  I mixture of Chex Mix, cigars, sleeping on an angle (head at the low end), the lack of beer, and my snoring has made Chris ill.  He advised Kevin to move in a hurry, so he could get outside to blow chunks.  I have to take credit for it, I think I actually snored so loud, I made Chris vomit.  I’m proud of that in a way.

 

We where up and out of the park by 8:30, and decided to head to Cabela’s in Hamburg PA.  Cutting down from Route 80 to Hamburg PA, which sits on Route 78, we came across this lonely stretch of road, and this sign.

 

 

 

 

 

Centralia - Columbia County, Pennsylvania - The fire was started in a garbage dump over an open coal seam in May of 1962.  The fire was reported and seemed to be quenched at the time, but actually continued underground.  There are many additional versions of the original cause but the garbage pit and the date are probably right.   If you do a google search, there are a lot of interesting sites.  The story is fascinating. 

 

 

 

 

 

Chris debates beer, and how he is going to crap out 25 pounds of Chex Mix.

 

 

After a stop off at Cabela’s, it was home.  Not a bad trip.  And we look forward to 2006!!!!